So, sorry people but I have finally got round to writing about the recent trip to Hong Kong and Australia and be warned, this is a long one...
Our mini adventure began on Friday the 13th, now anyone that knows me knows that I am extremely supersticious and terrified of flying so this was a big deal however I was so unorganised I hadn't really had anytime to consider the crashing and dying elements, well untill I saw the size of the plane that is but i'll come on to that....
Nix (From hereonin known as George!) ma and pa picked us up and off we went to Heathrow, it was at this point George realised she had forgotten her driving license at which she was thoroughly pissed off about considering most of our holiday would be around driving from Brisbane to Melbourne, or so we thought... Still it was no biggie both JP and I would share the driving.
Anyways, we gets to the airport and queue in the appropriate BA area and gets to the check in desk to be told that firstly the lady can check us in but it's a bit early for the bags but we can hang about for the next 20 minutes. We didn't have to as George and I were cool, seats at the ready etc, JP on the other hand... She tried to bump him off the flight first of all, bearing in mind we were probably the first to check in!!! She told us the flight was oversubscribed!!! George and I were very controlled and neither of us lost it, bonus! Anyway, she got him on, not sat with us but they put a note on to see if they could seat us together. Off we trundled....
We had dinner at Est, Est, Est and low and behold it was time to go to the gate, gulp!!! As we got closer to the plane I could see from quite a way away that it was FUCKING HUGE!!!! It was at this point that George went to the loo, JP was chatting to his bird (again!!!!) so I sat quietly and began to panic! George came back and suggested that maybe it was time for to take the valium that my very nice doctor had prescribed. I did and suddenly the world was a happy place. I had the giggles, not bad but enough. Still they were controlled until we got on the plane, JP had been moved to sit next to us the classic thing is he had been given an emergency exit seat prior to that, hilarious!!! Especially as he was asleep before we'd even taken off and slept for the whole bloody flight...
Needless to say we arrived in Hong Kong, safely!! Whilst waiting to get off the plane JP developed a chinese accent and was not discreet, I did comment to George that he was gonna get us killed!! His accent remained for the duration of our time in Hong Kong and he took to blurting, much to our amusement. On arrival we had a very bizarre conversation with the taxi driver, taiwan, aberdeen and JP stating "no we're from London" you clearly had to be there. Georges cousins gaff was fab and they very kindly took us out for a scrummy yummy dinner (the start of many), off to bed and I woke up at 7am!!!
Our first day in HK brought us a trip on the Star Ferry to Kowloon, we hit the jade markets, had a walk around and then went for a posh lunch at The Peninsular hotel, very nice (except Georges kiwi juice, ick!!) Ferry back to Lan Kwai Fong where we found a street carnival and then a pub! Georges buddies came and met us and the drinking began, mine didn't really progress as jet lag kicked in and I felt like shit. George and JP however, didn't seem to have a problem, they were hammered! We then took another trip on the Star Ferry back to Kowloon so that we could look back at the light/laser show in HK, back again on the ferry and JP asleep (missed pic opportunity as Ashley woke him up!!) Dinner at a vietnemese rest and off to bed.
HK day 2 and it was a trip on the Peak Tram, it was steep and a fab view at the top. Furthermore they had a bubba gump shrimp rest, i had to spend!! Shrimp! We had lunch at the top, very nice and then another amusing cab journey, the driver had his top on inside out, stopped the cab to pee and then proceeded to sing to us, lobbie williams! We were gonna go to Stanley Mkt but time was short so we headed back, repacked and then headed to the airport, again!!! JP asleep again in the cab, tried to get a pic, even through the side mirror but to no avail. Giggling again...
George managed to burn her lip on a hot choc in Staryucks, JP was spontaneous for the first time ever and bought a new digital camara (which he managed to delete 84 pics off of a week or so later!!!) and I again was shitting my pants, it was valium time and this time it was worse, I took 2. As I was walking back from the loo, the giggles hit and I couldn't stop, JP and George had a concerned look for me, doh!!!
9 or so hours later we arrived in Brisbane after a seriously shit landing (it was really cloudy - Georges comments of learner driver didn't help), I was tired and grumpy having not slept at all and the novelty of the valium totally worn off!!! However, we ventured through customs, JP gets stopped at every opportunity. As you go through quarantine they have the cutest sniff and sit dogs (little beagles) they're lovely and i'm getting one and i'm calling it sniff. George did say she'd get one and call it sit, this could be a disaster...
And there we were, in Brisbane airport, no hotel, no idea, what do we do now, ha ha. We hired a car, courtesy of Hertz and with a free upgrade we were off in our ice blue toyota camry! We were heading for Hervey Bay, which we were told was about 4 hours away. JP and I took turns falling asleep at the wheel before finally reaching our destination, the Lisianna. What a result, a 2 bed apartment for a whole £85 per night and it had a sea view!!! It also had Rigsby as the owner... Dinner was in the pub, JP was pissed again after 2 pints, bless him.
Wednesday brought a day out whale watching, this was after a classic comment from JP. I remarked that I still felt wobbley with the jet lag to which JP replied "I don't have jet lag" I asked if he'd slept all night to which the response was "No, I've been up since 2am!!!" Bless him... Anyway, the whales were fab and put on a great show, mummys, babys, a tiger shark and some dolphins too and it was sunny!!! We had dinner on the marina where George spilt a glass of water over me but it was okay my trousers seemed to repel it, fantastic!!!
Thursday came and with it a trip on a funky off road bus type truck thing, a hilarious driver named Warren, a trip on an 8 seater plane (without valium), dingos, a 1500 year old fern and George in total delight when she discovered Angry Anderson was on the bus (for those of you like me who had no idea, he wrote and sang the song that was played at Scott and Charlenes wedding in neighbours)The highlight had to be watching JP asleep on the bumpiest ride ever whilst trying to take a picture through the chair in front whilst George and I pissed ourselves giggling, we never got it...
Dinner was at the Black Dog where we had copius amounts of Sushi oh and cosmopolitans. A trip to the pub and a couple of vodys and we were strolling back to the apartment when JP spotted the sign, Easy access up rear stairs. We found it hysterical, JP lent over the hedge in front to cover up the word stairs whilst I took a pic at which point he announced that "this bush smells lovely" I do not know how George and I made it make to the apartment without wet bloomers.
Friday saw us leaving Hervey Bay and begin our drive down south towards Sydney. It took 4 hours or so to get to Brisbane and we stopped just south of it in a place called Coomera to meet up for a quick drink with Daves sister Leslie. Chatted to a kiwi dude who was practicing his chat up lines on us; Do you like chicken? Well you certainly know how to get a cock up!!! Er, order a rum and coke at the bar next to a girlie, drink the drink then throw the ice on the floor and step on it. You then turn to the girlie and say "now that i've broken the ice, do you fancy a drink?" I can hear the groans, ha ha ha. He then proceeded to tongue Georges ear and give her a slap on the arse, highly amusing!
At this point we weren't far from Surfers Paradise but it was indy speedway weekend so the chances of us getting somewhere to stay were slim so we headed for Byron Bay instead. We found somewhere to stay, it had stale biscuits, me and George were most disappointed. Went for dinner at Fresh it was yum. We then went to this funky bar/club place which was mahoosive!! They had a live band on and it was very cool, except when the displays in the bar flashed up a severe weather warning!! Yes it was going to piss down with the added extra of thunder storms, we were in Australia for gods sake, its supposed to always be sunny!! Anyway, George got chatted up by a minging aussie whilst JP and I laughed, it was a good night!!
We awoke in Byron Bay to thunder storms and grey bleakness so we went for brekkie and finally found a chavvy hostel to stay another night in. (it was the weekend so everything else was booked). We left our stuff in the car and went for a nose around town, walked to the beach and the sun poked its head out, this is where we made the mistake of walking back to the hostel to get our bikinis on, it started to piss down again!! We thought we'd still put them on just in case it stopped and suddenly got nice so we went to the room to change. As we waked in the smell of stale weed greeted us along with a packet of tobacco and some skins on the table. JP opened the door to the bedroom and almost passed out from the fumes, there was some scarey ass dude asleep. It was at this point we re-thought our accomodation, got our money back and decided to move on.
After passing many presbyterian churches in the next village we decided not to stop there and carry on and ended up in Yamba, soon to be known as williesville. I had been feeling pretty pants all day so we thought we'd have dinner and an early night. Found a really nice restarant, which turned out to be award winning and had a really nice meal. JP had kangaroo, it was yummy. We were in bed by 9.30!!! Within minutes JP was asleep and I turned to say goodnight to George when I knew by the look on her face that she was shitting her pants!! It was really windy and rainy outside and the bathroom window was a little open and she was also concerned that the door never had a chain on it. I told her not to be silly but it was too late, I was shitting my pants too. We started to giggle and woke JP up in the process, we told him we were scared but he just told us to shut up, stop being silly and turned over and went back to sleep - git!!! I then thought sod it, if i'm gonna die I might aswell be asleep. Funnily enough we woke up as normal the next day. Oh I also failed to mention that the hotel was next to the police station, dumb ass!!!
Sunday - We had brekkie and then we set off, our desitnation for the day - Coffs Harbour. We got there and it was still pissing down so we decided instead to move on and we ended up in Port Macquarie instead. Found a place to stay, the toilet leaked, George thought she was gonna get a fit handyman but instead an old boy turned up and told us that we weren't flushing it properly!!! Er, hello. Anyway, went for dinner and then, you guessed it, another early night. We were in bed again at 9.30, what a wild bunch we are! Oh and it was still pissing down...
Monday - I woke up before the others (just for a change) and went out to make a couple of calls, I couldn't believe it, the sun was coming out!! We went for brekkie and then hit the road and went to the koala hospital, oh bless em. They were very cute, until one of the women pulled a tick off of one of them and showed it to us, yuck!!! We then headed towards Newcastle, we got there, we drove in and then out!!! What a shithole, think Tilbury....
We headed for Sydney, a day early however JP rang his sis and she kindly said we could stay with them for the night as our apartment for was booked from Tues to Sun. I was driving, JP was navigating, really badly!!! He faffs and I caught Georges eye in the rear view mirror and that was it, we were in hysterics and JP wasn't amused which of course made us laugh more. Anyway, we made it to Glebe and Lesley and Ian provided a much welcomed G & T. We went for the most scrumptious lebanese meal and then slept in a very comfy bed.
Tuesday - We got to the apartment but wasn't able to check in until 2 so we dumped our stuff in the boys room and JP and I took the car back. After that we (me, George, JP, Dan, Miho and Stu) headed for Manley. It was really windy, we sat on the beach for a bit and then went for a really scrummy lunch on the front. George and I had a sociable cocktail and then we walked and sat on the harbour beach for a bit before getting the ferry back. We got back to the apartment - the Meriton World Tower, a 5* star serviced apartment and oh my god was it fantastic??!!! We were on the 76th floor with floor to ceiling windows in every room, the views were spectacular. George and I ran around giggling and somehow we gave in and let JP have the big suite. George and I hid, seperately, in his walk in wardrobes that is until I heard her fart in the other one and both of us fell out giggling.
Ian and Lesley came round and we all went for sushi. George and I decided we were gonna go for a couple of drinks and found a pub over the road and met an aussie and a kiwi, Rob and Glenn. We chatted to them until around 3.30am by which time we were completely obliterated, George snogged the aussie and then we headed home with the giggles. We felt this was a good time to text our parents....
Wednesday brought hangovers for both George and I. We went for a walk to Darling Harbour and then went to the aquarium which was fab!!! In the afternoon, JP went to see his sis whilst George and I thought we'd treat ourselves to a massage. How wrong we were!!! It was horrible, 20 minutes of my neck and shoulders being totally tortured, don't ever do it!! Poor George was in agony for days. That night Dan and Miho made us a seafood delight, it was yummy. I wasn't gonna drink as I still felt pretty ropey but it didn't last, I was soon hammered and wanting to go out. I finally convinced Stu and JP that it was a good idea and we headed for Kings Cross, found a bar and had a couple. We then headed back to the apartment in a taxi with the best driver in the world, he was so cool that we made him take a pic with us, tho it's on Stu's camara so not sure we'll ever see it. Anyway instead of going home we ended up in the pub over the road and then in Scruffy Murphys til 4 when Stu told us we had to go home - boo!!!
Thursday - George and some of the others went to the zoo whilst JP and I had a walk about, we went for brunch and then to the Rocks at which points I gave up, was hungover and shattered. I walked back to the apartment and had a chill out. George and I went to dinner with Dan, Miho, Stu, Chris, Sarah, Elliot and Amy to Doyles. Very swanky, Opera House one side, Bridge the other, lovely. It was here George was born. Now this isn't gonna be very funny but I found it highly amusing. Instead of saying ruby for a curry, they all say George!!! As in George Grindian rhymes with indian - see told you it wouldn't be funny. Anyway I think Nix looks like a George so George it is.
It was Friday and wedding day for George, well clearly not for George as she hasn't met anyone worthy enough yet however you know what I mean!! JP and I woke up earlyish, not together I hasten to add, anyway, we were up for a day of motoring!!! Yep we were off to the Australian Motor Show, we met Lesley and Ian and off we went. It was cool and lots to see, I couldn't understand the interest the other 3 had in the caravans (Chavs!! Kidding!!) Actually I do get why but I wasn't interested so I sat and got divebombed by the flys around the harbour!! Have I mentioned the flys?? They're huge and everywhere around the water, minging!!! Ian wanted a milkshake and we were all hungry so we went for pies, they're were yummy! We then had a walk through the fish market, it was fab, it would've been better if we'd gone there for lunch but hey ho. It was then to Lesley and Ians for a chill out and dinner. We headed back to the apartment and I went to bed. It was then my phone rang, private number so I didn't bother, I then get a text from my credit card company saying fraud alert and could I call them. I did, i'd be done, attempted £7k but they'd only managed £4k and even better they had cancelled my card. I was hacked off so got up to find George and Stu back from the wedding, we had vodka, I felt better.
Saturday came and with it a trip out to see the happy couple and there guests at a fab pub where you picked and cooked your own meat, I had a New York Strip Steak, blue and with mustard, fucking amazing!!! JP had Skippy, tho he wasn't impressed with his own cooking and George had a pizza??!! We had a wonder round the Rocks and the markets and then home where the others went out and we just went for a wonder around Darling Harbour and then got a slice of pizza and bed. JP went boozing.
It was Sunday, check out day, or not!! We'd been monitoring the weather in Melbourne and it was 9 degrees, colder there than here at home, how shit!!! We made the decision to stay in our luxury pad and extended it for another 3 days (giving us time to get to Melbourne). Georges buddies all checked out but not without leaving there ice cream - Thanks guys!! George and I headed to Paddys Market for a bit of a shop, its next to China town and George had caught JP's blurting disease, mental oriental was her favoured phrase!!! Good grief!! We tried to shop though it was a bit pooh really so we headed to the Opera House to do the tour instead however the sun made an appearance so we laid on the stone seats for an hour or so before going to the Opera House bar for lunch and it was fab!! Jazz band playing, really busy, great atmosphere and THE best fish and chips i've ever had!!! George played musical chairs as it was sunny or did she need shade, aagghhh!! ha ha. We were off to JP's sis for dinner.
Monday and we were determined to be tourists, we got on the bus to do the tour and then realised we'd pretty much been to all of the main places, however we got off at Harrys, Cafe De Wheels (very famous) JP and I had pies, mushy peas and gravy, superb, George didn't. She had at this point lost her bus ticket so we couldn't get on, we dithered and then decided to go back to the Opera House and do the tour. JP headed for a museam. George and I were complete bitches (no change there then I hear you cry) and laughed as a large lady walked past us, she was eating her shorts, I took a picture, I’m going to hell! We had our tour and it was fab, really impressive and our tour guide was obviously a luvvie, hilarious!! It was off to China town for food, oh my god it was good, JP thought so too as he ate everything! It was then all off to meet Georges snogging buddy. Lots of drinking, JP thinks he pulled Glenn which we laughed at but thinking now maybe he did….
It was Tuesday and hangover day, a late start. We dithered about what to do and decided to change our flights from Melbourne to Sydney – still pooh weather and then we were off to Manly beach, JP didn’t stay long and headed to his sis’s gaff. George and I spent a couple of hours there and then went to the Bavarian Beer Bar, had vodys and a schnitzel, scrumptious. Another trip on the ferry to our gaff and an hours sleep or so we thought. We woke up at the time we were supposed to be meeting her snogging partner so a quick shower was had and then a visit to V bar and then to a really seedy pool place, it was at this point my bed was calling, so was Georges cept hers was going to have a real life aussie in it…..
It was now check out day and we headed for Ian and Lesleys and there sun trap of a roof terrace, where we spent most of the day. Except for the time we were downstairs giggling, all I’ll say is leather sofa, vibrations, hilarious!! Dinner was an Indian that cost a total of £3.40, fab!
Oh did I mention that George hadn’t slept the whole time we were in the apartment, she was missing me, ah bless. It was okay, we were back to sharing and she did sleep, pathetic!!
It was Thursday and our last full day, George and I hit the beach and went for the burn, well I did, it was well impressive but quite painful, dumb ass!!! Dinner was a trip to a posh place called the Boatyard, very nice but there was no way George and I were walking back home, we’d walked there!!!
Friday and going home day – I was ready to, I’d had a really cool adventure but I was missing my buddies, 1 in particular along with my bed and my home sweet home. We shopped, George and I both bought shoes, pressies, choccies, the usual crap and then it was off to the airport. Had a laugh with the girlie at check in and George and I ended up with the emergency exit seat, well I needed the room for my long legs!! JP didn't!!! Failed to sleep the whole way home but hey I got to watch 6 films!!!
Thanks to George and JP for making it a definite trip to remember – we certainly had some giggles.
